Dedicated to Rowan

The ramblings of a first time mother in relation to motherhood.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Chick Chat

The Girly Goods

  • What Do You Crave During PMS?: anythign bad for me - lol - chocolate, chips - whatever - and I want a lot of it!
  • Fav. Brand Of Tampons?: Playtex
  • Fav. Brand Of Pads?: Stayfree
  • Is Hubby/BF Understanding?: Oh yeah! I am very fortunate.
  • Tylenol / Advil /or/ Midol For Cramps?: I am lucky and don't really get cramps - but then I just had a baby so that may change, but I would probably use Advil.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Monday Madness

Name your favorite...

  • Family Game - Life or Monopoly - oh, and Uno too.
  • Piece of Jewelry - Rings - everything else tends to get in the way.
  • Winter Activity - Snuggling up on the couch with popcorn, hot cocoa or coffee, watching a couple of movies.
  • Hot Beverage - Coffee is what I drink the most, but I enjoy Cocoa and Tea as well.
  • Quote - I never did mind about the little things (from the movie, Point of No Return)
  • Color on You - hmmmm -- I am only wearing black, khaki, and white - not much to pick from there :-D
  • Summer Activity - swimming
  • Topping on Pancakes - Butter and syrup - that is it, I don't like anything else.
  • Musician - There are a lot that I like, it is hard to choose - to name a few: Madonna, Loreena Mckennit, Tori Amos, Lenny Krvitz, Rob Zombie, Joss Stone - and others, those are just the ones I can think of on the fly.

Back to work

Well - I am back to work, and I guess it is about time that I did a serious update to this blog. :-)

What am I thinking of motherhood so far:
Well - the first couple of weeks were hell. It wasn't because she kept me up all night, no she has always been a good night sleeper (sleeping 4-6 hours at a time at night since birth) - but hell, I had to figure out how she was communicating with me! I mean a cry could mean anything - and I was at my wits end at times trying to figure out what was going on with her. Then to top that off I was majorly hormonal, and then I was stuck in my tiny apartment (less than 1000 sq ft) for two weeks - I wasn't allowed to drive due to the c-section. And I was in pain - and on drugs!!

So - I think that would have been a rough couple of weeks for anyone.

By the third week I started to get the hang of thing - but the communication thing with Rowan was still really rough - I was still learning :-) And to top it off, I was starting to have problems with breast feeding. I never could get her to drink directly from the breast (she got spoiled form the get go since I could not feed her after surgery) so I had to pump her milk for her - and about a month after I started my milk supply started to decline - so I had to deal with feelings of guilt and frustration with that.

Around 5 weeks she started her first tentative smiles - and they were nice, but few and far between - I was learning her cues a little better, but we still had some rough patches (a day of constipation for a baby is enough for any new parent to want to throw in the towel!) but things were moving more smoothly.

Then around 8 weeks she started smiling and grinning. I would talk to her or sing to her - and there it was her big ol' toothless grin - and all of those hard times started to just melt away. There is nothing like your little baby giving you her special smile and making all the fussiness seem not so bad anymore - I am getting teary-eyed just thinking about it!

Something I realized when I had Rowan:
There are some people in my life that are just wonderful! Yes, my family was wonderful after having Rowan, and Jeremy's family was too - but these aren't the people that I am talking about. After Rowan was born I realized that I had created this circle of support around me, and I never even knew it. My friends were amazing! So generous it still touches me. I was in my hospital room looking around at all of the flowers and such - and I realized I am truley blessed! I really am. A person in thier life time can usually only hope for one or two wonderful friends as they go along - but I had several. These aren't friends that I talk to everyday - but these are the ones that I have such a good bond with that when I call after a month or two saying I need to get out - they are on it, and we have a great time. Kind of like an extended family. I was just so surprised because I had never realized this before. There are certain expectation you have of your family - but to have my circle of friends meet those same expectations, that just blew me away.

And now I am back at work:
Those 10 weeks just blew by - and now I am back in the grind. I have been since yesterday. Leaving my house yesterday was so hard - I just cried and cried - but I was OK once I got to work (well, I did break down a little bit when someone asked how it was leaving Rowan for the first time) - and today it is even better. Tomorrow she is going to stay with Lynn for the first time - she is the woman we found to watch Rowan while we are at work, for considerably less than day care, and I really like her personality. I just wonder how it is going to be when I leave her there - I mean I like her, but in essence I don't really know her. Maybe the transition will be easier - I will see tomorrow.

Things I learned about being a mommy to Rowan in the past 10 weeks:
  • She really loves her swings (what a godsend - if there was only one swing in the world that cost $1000 - I would be fighting to get it - but thank goodness they aren't that expensive, and I got mine as gifts)
  • She hates bed time
  • She is an insatiable eater - she gets so frantic about it that she makes noises while she is eating - and she tries to get so much in at one time that she usually ends up with part of it on her chin - it is quite cute really.
  • She seems to be rather contemplative - for the most part she is content to sit in her swing and look around at her world.
  • She likes to be held in the afternoons - somewhere starting between 3 and 4 she prefers to be held rather than be in her swing, or pack-n-play, or bouncy seat, or on a play may with me trying to stimulate her - nope she just wants to be held. Sitting up and looking around at everything of course.
  • Her smiles are like sunshine

And I am sure I have learned more, but right now that is what I can remember.